On love

What does it take for two people to fall in love? And what causes two people to fall out of love? 

Beyond all the "love is not rational" and all the idealistic hogwash, there would be a reason - whether the reason can be put in words or not is different -  that caused you to fall in love with another person. And what if that reason that you can't put to words wanes away over time? Do you need to keep finding new reasons? Is finding a reason to love really love? Do you then let yourself fall out of love? Or is that being lazy? 

What if you realize one fine day that you and your love do not share anything and are completely orthogonal - no shared passions or hobbies, no shared likes -  the only thing that you share is love but is that strong enough to weather through all the storms in absence of any other support? If love needs something else to support it, is it really love? It did not matter when falling in love at a young age - when the love was still strong, when you had not thought about these countless what ifs -  but somewhere over time the thoughts creep in. 

If you have to put in effort to sustaining the love, is it really love? Shouldn't true love not take any "effort"?  Or is that another idealistic hogwash. Am I being lazy here in saying that love should be effortless? Am I being a hypocrite when I say love must have a reason but loving should be effortless?

What if you secretly wish your love was someone who can be more involved in your life - your interests and passions. And you feel jealous when you see other such couples. Is that normal? Or am I a terrible person for feeling so?

What if you aren't sure if your love is your LOVE. Some days you are sure but some other days you aren't sure. Is that okay? What if the some days stretches over months? When do you decide you are falling out of love? Or maybe just like we never "decided" to fall in love, maybe we never "decide" to fall out of love. It just happens. 

As you age you get more practical. The idealism of youth starts waning. Different things matter. So many "what ifs" come in the mind. All I have now is questions. And no answers. The weight of these countless questions pulls me down... For now I am learning to live with these questions. Maybe some day I will find the answers.